Well I just found out today that my beautiful niece is pregnant with a little girl. How exiting. It makes me remember the beginning of both of my pregnancies and how different each one was. Then I think…is there advice I can give to her.
Hummm…..I suppose there is always advice you can give a pregnant woman, but then you also have to take into consideration their lives and their beliefs. Do they educate themselves or do they fly by the seat of their pants? Will they take care of the baby themselves or will they have a nanny do it all?? Will your advice be heard or will they smile at you and brush you off as if you have never been in these shoes before??? Will they hear you but think – bbsshhh….I will never be like that????
But I think that even with those questions in mind there are still some pointers you can always give a pregnant woman. And if they want to hear it – great – if not – at least you tried. So here is my baby advice for a new moms:
- Cherish every day every minute and take pictures. Whether the day is bad, lazy, good or great – remember them all because time goes by fast. Each pregnancy is different. So pay attention to the good and the bad because you will need the stories for your child’s inquisitive years. Everyone loves a good story.
- Be informed. Whether or not you agree with what you learn. Be informed. This could refer to a form of birthing or with someone’s ideal of how a child should be raised – you should always be informed. Perfect example: Natural delivery vs Vaginal delivery with Epidural vs C-Section. If you have decided that you are having a natural birth – you still need to be informed on what each type of birthing process entails. You never know what will happen. You could have a complication in the hospital and “have” to have a C-Section. Shoot….you could have the kid on the side of the road.
- Try breastfeeding. Yes breastfeeding isn’t for everyone. I know that. But my advice is to just give it a try. If anything, do it the first week. The first 3-5 days is when your milk is in the colostrum phase. This is the the most important nutrients you can give your child and it will let you know if you are will to keep doing it. If it doesn’t work for you. Fine. At least you tried.
- Be smart when naming your child. Don’t give them a name they will regret when they get older. I don’t think I need to elaborate because this seems like a pretty straight forward piece of advice…but to help support my point – I know someone that named their kid Chlamydia. COME ON!!!! They named their kid after an STD because they said it sounded pretty!!!! Well…..its not pretty dumbass….its a painful, bleeding, burning penis and vagina!! Enough said!
- Watch what you eat and drink while you are pregnant (and breastfeeding). Everything you put in your body goes to your baby. Everything has a cause and effect -booze, drugs, over the counter meds, caffeine, sugar, deli meats, sushi – everything. These all cause problems or at least have links to problems such as learning disabilities, physical disabilities, mental issues, autism, ADD, ADHD, etc. Im not saying that all of these things will effect every kid BUT you have to go into this knowing that you are not invincible and it could very possibly happen to you and your child. If there is one time in your life that you eat healthy….let that be now. Im not saying you have to turn vegan or vegetarian….but moderation… moderation… moderation. Pay attention to what goes into your system as it is also going into your baby.
- Be accepting to change. If you had a birth plan – it will most likely change. You could have a plan to breastfeed but for medical reasons you cant. Change. How you discipline your child could change depending on how the child reacts to your first attempts.
- Know that your life is no longer your own from the moment you get pregnant until the kid moves out of your house. And most likely it still wont be yours. Your schedule is no longer yours. Your shower time is no longer yours. Your sleep time is no longer yours. And speaking of sleep….
- Be ready to live off of 2-4 hours sleep…sometimes if that. If you do happen to get 8-10 hours of sleep…its interrupted sleep so it still feels like you only got 2-4 hours. This will most likely be the case for at least 2-3 years.
- Teach them right from wrong as early as you can. The biggest teaching point can be – you train your child – don’t let your child train you. If you want them to behave in a store – then teach them how early on. If you want them to go to bed at a certain time then you need to start the bed time schedule training. If you want them to not eat junk food or sugar – start the training young.
- Communication is key. Talk to your partner. Having a baby can put a huge strain on a relationship. Make sure to make time for each other. And if you are not “in the mood” be honest about it. Be honest with your partner about your feelings. Both of you need to remember that this strain is short term. It will be hard on you and your partner. Don’t forget that you are in this together. And keep in mind, the strain could last as long as the last trimester of your pregnancy, it could last the whole pregnancy, it could last until the kid is 2 years old…who knows. But your relationship will never make it through the strain of less sex, less grown up time, less sleep, less alone time, etc. etc. …unless you communicate with each other.
Good Luck…I hope my list helps those that read it. Also…if you think there is something I missed, let me know. I love hearing some good advice.