I have to admit that when I am pregnant I try not to get too attached to the baby. Only because you never know what can happen. In my eyes…the less emotional connection you feel during the pregnancy….the less affected you might be if something traumatic happens. So when people would ask me…”are you excited?” I would never really know how to respond. Usually my response would be …”uhhhh yeah sure.” Or I will look at the ultrasounds and think “how cute” or “awe, look. She looks just like her brother.” Things like that. But for me, the moment isn’t real until I actually deliver the baby. The first moment I hear a cry come out of my child…I know it’s real. I know that I have created something special. Something that is mine. Something beautiful. Tears finally roll down my cheeks as I hear that wailing cry of my baby coming into the world. And I feel whole.
I thought I knew love when I first got together with my hubby 20 years ago. I thought I knew what feeling whole felt like. But then I had my son. And my world was turned upside down. I was filled with an overwhelming amount of love. I have a wonderful hubby that treats me well and loves me back. And then I have my son who is the most beautiful boy I have ever seen (and I can say that because he’s mine!) And my heart grew even bigger. I didn’t think I could love any more than I already did. But I was wrong. I’m not even sure if I can say I love one more than the other but I know that I can definitely say that I love them both with all my heart. And then…I went and did it again. I had my daughter. And my heart opened up again and welcomed that little girl into this family and our wonderful world of love.
I have a wonderful hubby that I love with all my heart. I have a gorgeous son that pushes my buttons and pulls on my heart strings at the same time. And now I have a daughter that takes my breath away. These 3 are my life….my world…and they make me whole.