I realize that I haven’t posted in a while….but there is a reason. I haven’t had anything nice to say. I sat here for a while trying to think of positive things to talk about but nothing came out. My hands froze on the keyboard….while my brain went blank. I didn’t want my blog to seem like all was doing was complaining about this pregnancy. But as I write that statement….this post is about to elaborate on how crappy this pregnancy has been. Haha
This pregnancy has made me SO appreciative of my last pregnancy. The only bad things that happened during my 1st pregnancy was that all my friends would want to go out drinking and partying and I was stuck there watching them have fun and I was stuck being the DD. And then there was the fact that I had pain from my cyst (which eventually was surgically removed during my 4th month of pregnancy). After that was removed….the pregnancy was so much easier. I got the normal back/hip pain from your hips expanding but nothing I couldn’t handle. And my delivery was not the best experience….but again I am attributing that to being induced (which was the probably the worst decision I could have made…but that’s another story).
So far…this this pregnancy SUCKS! Don’t get me wrong…I love the baby I am making. And I am going to love my little girl so much it hurts. And…as my hubby likes to remind me….yes I did ask for this pregnancy. But…in my defense….after my last one I thought I could handle another. I was wrong.
I have had every symptom that you could think of. I am so moody that I feel bad for my hubby and my son. I apologize to them A LOT. Very snappy! I blame it on being uncomfortable. Hopefully they buy that excuse. I was showing almost immediately. My body found out I was preggers and decided…”HEY Lets share the news with everyone!” And at 8 weeks preggers my tummy was popped out like I was 2 months preggers. Ok no hiding this one. The car accident didn’t help things etiher. Everything hurts. Everything causes contractions. I cant walk longer than 15 minutes, I cant sit too long, I cant have sex, I cant bend over, I cant pick up my boy…the list goes on and on.
But worst of all….my herniated disc is acting up. (For those that don’t know…I have a herniated disc on my L4/L5 vertebra. Before I got pregnant I had to get an injection in my back just so I could walk.) And granted…my orthopedic surgeon warned me that it would happen. He said that when I “do” get pregnant the back pain will probably come back and there is nothing I can do about it (meaning no meds). I can use a heating pad and ice pack but that is about it. I use both of those and the pain subsides….until I take it away and it is right back to hurting like HELL!!!
I am screwed. I am miserable. I just want this pregnancy to be over already. And in no way am I “really” wishing for this to be over – because she is SO NOT READY. I am only 33 weeks. But I am just tired of feeling this way. Im tired of hurting. I hate the fact that I cant walk – let alone go to the gym. I REALLY hate the fact that I cant have sex! And my dreams are definitely not helping THAT situation. I hate that I am so snappy that I take it out on my hubby and my son. I just plain ole hate feeling this way.
I plan on tying my tubes after this baby and when I tell people that…their first reaction is…..are you sure?!?! You might change your mind later on and want more than 2 babies. But then I tell them the same thing I am telling whoever is reading this….IM DONE! I am SO not doing this again! I am too old for this shit! If I ever get baby fever again…I will adopt.
And I am done venting…Good Day!